journey

Seems like the current journey is settling down a bit. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I've been playing in the snow and set out to make a giant snowman, but don't know if it's possible with the weather and the snow melting. But one thing I do know is that pushing getting the snowball started is kind of hard, the middle stages are pretty easy since it is still movable, then finally the mis-shaped ball gets too hard to roll and that's where it has to sit.
Such is life, it's not a perfect ball otherwise it'd be easy to push or pull. And finally you get to a point in life where most things are set and you cannot move anymore. You are just this giant mass with impurities (my snowball was dirty, it had grass dirt, some dog doodoo) and all anyone can do is just pack more snow on top or on the sides to cover it up. When what needs to happen is layers need to come off so you are actually clean. I'm probably just rambling here so this will be the end of my post.

It's been a while

Well a lot of stuff has happened, since my last post. Apparently I was being punny without even noticing (caliber haha). Thanks to all the people who know about my situation are praying for me. I'm on some medication so I really don't write much or better choice of words there is really nothing that I 'feel' I want to write. Certain people have resurrected themselves that I thought I had buried. But what can you do when that person is in need? Maybe I'm just a fool. Matt Nathanson, Mad Hope album, I can listen to that all the way through. That man is a genius.

I'm in some deep doo doo

Well this weekend was interesting, two men came to my door sat night and brought me to get a psych assessment. Apparently they think I am going to hurt a lot of people or myself. Little did they know that I don't take standardized tests seriously. So I've been in several interactions
with the dean and other high authorities of the seminary. This is just wonderful...all who know me and I dissappear for a few weeks it prob means that I'm in some f'ing nuthouse and being drugged because it's how you can fix problems. I personally do not believe in modern psychology and it is just a push to put more people on drugs. Drugs do not solve problems. I'm sure those of you who know me can attest to this. The only true way to help a person is to be their friend and point them towards God. I guess the seminary really has no clue on this subject and has not dealt with a person of my caliber before. It's times like these that really get me frustrated...I guess my ego got the best of me of trying to be funny and trying to screw the system over. I have anger issues of course but this is seriously pushing my buttons. My dreams are starting to get involved in real life, who the heck wants to dream about real life in your dreams? That's why they are called dreams...

Psychological Assesment

This past Tuesday was a pretty busy day. Formation for Ministry group, church history, then speech class. We had an exercise where everyone had to tell a story for 30 sec and it should for the most part flow. When it was my turn, it involved some doberman-like dog creature that turned human who enjoyed burlesque dancing and had wishes from a genie and was being attacked by a squid. The person before me left off at "he pondered a philosophical question". So I started "and that philosophical question was whether he should eat the squid or let it go." then I just rambled a bunch of stuff. After class I had a psych appt. for about an hour and half, then i had a library training session for another hour and half.

The interesting part of that day was the psychological assessment. The psychologist asks all the normal questions and he asks if I have ADD and proceeds to ask me ADD questions. And so later on I get into my drug issues, and he asks if I've done hard stuff and I told him I'm sure I haven't. So at the end he tells me that he looked at my test and said that pretty much my mind was everywhere. I guess I really am messed up in my head.

Well it's been almost three weeks into classes and I'm really enjoying them, except maybe the speech class. Properly learning about the Trinity in systematic theology and man do I really know nothing. Early church history is very informative, there is a definite difference compared to modern North American Christians. Got my psych eval test tomorrow and supposed to sign up
for a subsequent date later for an interview with a psychologist I think.

Life in Grand Rapids seems pretty easy going. It seems like a slow going town and is almost
a bubble society of Christianity in the U.S. Weather right now is great. It did drop down to 40 and 50s last week but has since warmed backed up. I don't think I have sweated yet since I've been here.

On a personal note, I've tried to surgically remove a woman from my life in hopes of being able to focus and more soul searching. Maybe I'm just running...I hope this doesn't backfire in my face where I just go insane or something. God help me.

Labor day and school

Summer has officially ended here in West Michigan. People are headed back to school including me. Went to the outskirts of Detroit the other day to get some furniture at an Ikea store. They got a cafeteria in there that serves some pretty good stuff. Got home at night to assemble a dinner table, a POANG chair, and some other stuff. All that is left that I want is a couch and maybe a an HDTV. I doubt I'll have much time to watch much TV except for football on saturday. A lot of people are sad that Michigan got beat by Appalachian State. I don't feel sad for them at all.

I had two classes today. Church History I and Gospel communication. A lot of introduction of ourselves in each class. I'm actually glad that I'm not from the greater Michigan area, which seems like half the people are. Class seems somewhat manageable so far. I've got a lot of reading to do and a speech to give next week...what did I get myself into. I guess I just got to hang on to the rollercoaster.

Arrived in Grand Rapids, MI a couple of days ago. It was pretty warm here, but not as bad as back home. However last night and today was nice, mid 70's. Orientation was interesting... looks like I'm going to be having a lot of fun. Hopefully moving into the townhouse on Sat. Otherwise, haven't figured out what I'll be doing for the rest of the time. Job maybe? probably studying... need some ideas of what to do with the basement. Maybe I'll have seminary dog/chicken fights...